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    一直想說的故事
    來源:《讀者》2006年第18期    時間:2012/12/12    閱讀:6030次

    作者:白樺

     

      一直,我都想講這樣幾個故事——

      講真話

      這個故事是上海電視臺資深記者祁鳴先生告訴我的。他說:

      1981年巴金率團參加了在里昂——巴黎召開的國際筆會,又結束了對瑞士的訪問,10月7日回到北京。13日是巴金先生很繁忙的一天,他先是主持了中國作協主席團會議,會議做出了年內舉行第二次中國作協理事會全會決定;恢復胡風的作協會籍;確定“茅盾文學獎”首屆評獎的范圍;聽取籌備建立中國現代文學館的報告。那天,胡耀邦還在中南海勤政殿會見了巴金先生。胡耀邦一見巴金先生的面就問:“巴老!你看過我的文章嗎?”巴金回答說:“沒有。”胡耀邦說:“我的文章本來把批《苦戀》應該結束的意思放在前面,有些老同志的氣不順,我只好把這樣的意思擺在后面。你在文學界德高望重,應該給中青年作家以正確的引導……”巴金先生沒有順應胡耀邦當時非說不可的意思,而是直截了當地提出自己的想法,他說:“中國的文藝家受了多年的磨難,應該多鼓勵,少批評。特別是對中青年作家,例如對白樺和他的《苦戀》。”這時,正在用電影攝影機采訪的新聞記者祁鳴先生眼前的取景框模糊了,他發現自己在流淚。祁鳴先生對我說:“按過去多年來的習慣,不管你是多么有名的文藝家,在傾聽中共高層領導人說話的時候,你只能唯唯諾諾,而不敢表達自己和領導人不同的觀點,巴金先生卻在批《苦戀》的大潮中,胸懷坦蕩地為作家們大聲疾呼。”至今祁鳴先生提起這件事來,依然熱淚盈眶。通過這個故事我才知道巴金先生是這樣講真話的。

      狂生

      這個故事來自蒲松齡先生的《聊齋》。蒲松齡先生在他的書中直截了當地描寫出人間的鬼怪和狐媚,我們卻從這本書里看到的是鬼怪和狐媚的人間。《狂生》這大約是《聊齋》里最短的一篇故事,請允許我在敘述時做一點點加工。說的是,一個縣官在某縣剛剛就職,為了解除寂寞、附庸風雅,很想找一個文人交往。據當地人說,本縣只有一位文人,但他非常潦倒,身無立錐之地,非法占住在凋敝的城門樓上,衣不遮體,食不果腹。但這位縣官不恥下問,和他交了朋友。于是,他們就詩酒唱和,徹夜對弈。但是,這位朋友有不少毛病,就是不修邊幅,出言不遜,直言犯上,但縣官畢竟是縣官,經常感到難堪。最后縣官終于想到一個有效的辦法。就是把他搬下城樓,入住縣衙,委以小吏,而且讓他經常包攬司訟、收受了不少紅包。于是這位文人的毛病就好了。從此,在縣官面前俯首帖耳,舉止猥瑣,開口縣尊,閉口首長。最后,連縣官都對他漸漸失去了興趣,因為他已經不再是一個文人了。

      不死花

      雖然我是那樣重視我的文學守望,也很努力。但年華已逝,最后能夠留給未來的怕是只有一些枯黃的落葉,它們只能發出最后的嘆息而不再是慷慨悲歌了,這是自然的悲劇。我記得,1986年秋天,我和幾位中國作家出訪前蘇聯,在頓河邊的峭岸上,拜訪了我最喜愛的作家蕭洛霍夫的故居,這位作家曾經給前蘇聯文學留下了一部最后的經典,那就是《靜靜的頓河》。我們在蕭洛霍夫的親人陪同下給他掃了墓,他的墓地就在他家的后院里。夜里,我久久地在頓河邊徘徊,在阿克西妮亞和葛利高里的氛圍里呼吸著頓河草原上秋天的芬芳。離開維耶申斯卡雅的那天早晨,我們正在機場上等待起飛,突然,蕭洛霍夫的小孫子沙沙匆匆趕來。氣喘吁吁的沙沙捧著滿懷的干花。沙沙對我們說:“奶奶讓我送來的,這是頓河草原上的花朵,他的名字叫不死花,是爺爺生前最喜歡的花。爺爺去世的時候,奶奶在他的棺木里鋪墊了很多這樣的不死花。奶奶說,把這些不死花分送給中國作家們吧!這些花朵在頓河的春天里開放,即使是到了嚴寒的冬天也不會凋落,它們是不朽的文學的象征。”我接受了一束不死花,但我立即用花束捂住了自己的臉,因為我像孩子那樣哭了。我還能給這個冷暖世界留下一朵不死花嗎?


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