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    有些鳥兒我們是看不見的
    來源:《讀者》2006年第18期    時間:2012/12/12    閱讀:6515次

    作者:李城


      
      我的一位鄰居老人說,在沒有留下過汽車轱轆印的地方,會游蕩著一些快樂或者哀怨的幽靈。黃昏時分,如果你穿過一座僻靜的村落,可能就在某個墻角處與他們撞個正著。你雖然睜大眼睛,卻絲毫感覺不到他們的存在;倒是那些幽靈會主動閃開,說,看啊,這個瞎子,他踩著我啦。
      
      那是以為樂觀豁達的老人,深受家人和鄰居的尊敬。他說過這話不久,就告別了我們,毫無牽掛地進入另外的空間了。我記著他的話,心想會不會在某個黃昏或者夜晚,在樓道里突然就碰上他呢?可是我眼前除了一些堅硬而冰冷的物質,什么也沒有。
      
      雖然我們深感物質世界是不容置疑的,但在真實的生活中,還是寧可相信一些虛幻事物的存在,并在內心為它們預留著共同分享這個世界的空間。
      
      一次,我在經過甘、川相鄰地段一個名叫木道那的藏族寨子時,一群人正聚集在寨口一棵古楊樹下,群情激憤地呵斥一個小男孩兒。那男孩委屈地抹著淚,手里拖著一把割草用的長柄鐮刀,看上去很無辜的樣子。我覺得那樣對待一個孩子是不公平的,就問其中一位年長的男人,難道他做了什么不可饒恕的錯事了嗎?
      
      那人指指老樹說,你看看吧,他做的好事!
      
      那棵老樹上掛滿了被雨水沖刷得泛白的經幡,還涂著不少酥油,酥油上粘著一團一團的羊毛。在一段空白樹干上,有一道刀砍過的痕跡,新鮮的茬口上正在往外流水。原來,拿鐮刀的小男孩路經此處,無意地向樹上砍了一下,恰好被大人們看見了。他們認為樹是不能想砍就砍的,何況那棵樹不是一棵普通的樹,而是護佑著地方平安的山神的寄魂樹!
      
      人們說,那傷口不光是砍在樹上,也是砍在山神的身上啊。
      
      我仰頭看著那老態龍鐘的楊樹,有著枯瘦扭曲的枝干和稀疏的葉片,樹冠上三兩個鵲巢岌岌可危。除此以外,什么也看不出來。可我相信在寨子里人們的眼中,一定會是另外一番景象,一些非同尋常的鳥兒棲息于樹枝,它們無形的翅膀鼓動著透明的空氣,正在給整個寨子帶來幸福和吉祥。
      
      是的,在一些偏遠村寨,那些看不見的,或者被我們認為是虛無的東西,仍被供奉在人們心靈的殿堂上,并被敬畏的嘴唇傳誦得鮮活生動。從古到今,那樣的鳥兒一直不知疲倦地飛翔于民間的天空下,因而在青藏高原,每一座山、每一條河都有相對應的神靈,即使那些丑陋的石頭和樹木,也有人一樣的尊嚴和靈性。我們常常會見到這樣的事實:即使大片大片的森林被國營林場的伐木工用油鋸剃了光頭,而被村民們保護著的“神山”上,尤其是在寺廟的附近,成片成片的樹木依然茁壯而茂密。
      
      小時候,我們總被警告不要在路上撒尿,沖了路神,眼皮上就會長出蠶豆大的“眼蛋”;也不能把腳丫踩到泉水里去,因為泉眼里住著泉神,冒犯了就會讓我們的身上臉上長瘡。我們表面上不以為然,但真那樣做的時候,心里總會有所顧忌。兩年前,我帶兒子去老家的一條山溝里捉娃娃魚,因為老師指派給他一個任務:捉一些娃娃魚回家飼養,觀察它們對環境的適應能力。在一條小溪源頭的泉眼處,我們找到了一條很大的娃娃魚,隨即就被手腳麻利的兒子牢牢抓住了尾巴。可是那條娃娃魚就近鉆到了泉眼的石縫里,怎么也拉不出來。兒子雖然沒有放手,但眼里帶了莫名其妙的慌恐,回頭看著我。也許他也覺得那不是一條普通的娃娃魚,而是什么神秘之物的化身。
      
      有些東西我們是看不見的,但隱藏于我們的意識里,某種時間便能夠真實地顯示出來。正是這種對自然的神圣感和敬畏,約束著我們的行為,不斷地使我們放棄自私而非分的念頭。
      
      旅游業興盛以來,香格里拉(安多藏區稱為香巴拉)成為人們追尋的理想境界,希望那僅僅是佛經中提到的或小說里描繪的世外桃源,在現實中能夠找到確切的對應。在青藏高原,據說那樣的秘境已經被聲稱找到了,而且正在產生著旅游開發帶來的經濟效益。就是在國外,人們也試圖將那烏托邦據為己有。印度國家旅游局曾經宣布,香格里拉位于喜馬拉雅山下的巴爾蒂斯鎮;尼泊爾人也不甘示弱,聲稱他們的邊陲小鎮木斯塘為香格里拉;俄羅斯人則在西伯利亞的冰天雪地里,輾轉尋找香格里拉的蛛絲馬跡。可實際上,香巴拉作為佛教理想中極樂世界的象征,無論把它放在哪一塊現實的土地上,都會顯得牽強,甚至會玷污了它本身的圣潔。曾經有位名叫吉米·哈特的美國人,則意外得到了另一條到達香格里拉的“路線圖”——他在尼泊爾境內尋找香格里拉時,當地一位老喇嘛笑著說:到處找什么呢?香格里拉就在你的心中啊。
      
      可是我們眼里除了實實在在的物質,什么也沒有。就像我在木道那寨口仰頭張望的時候,看到的只是枯瘦的枝干和稀疏的葉片,以及樹冠上岌岌可危的鳥巢。
      
      如今已經沒有人會相信山神,更不相信山神會把靈魂寄托在某棵老朽的楊樹上,但我知道,那是一種心靈的真實。也許那些鳥兒輕盈透明的翅膀,已經不能承載物質世界之重,它就像藏族民間故事中那個冰做的寶貝,突然受到陽光的驚擾,撒一泡尿就急急逃走了。我們也無法用文字的羅網捕獲它,當我們試圖張開羅網的時候,它已經了無蹤跡。它伴隨了人類的童年,一直到現在,如果不是我們遺忘了它,甚至拒絕了它,它一定還會陪伴著我們,直到世界的末日。
      
      我相信沒有汽車轍印的地方會有精靈游蕩,雖然說過這話的鄰居老人早已故去。而我將繼續穿行于青藏高原邊緣的村寨牧場,在民間的天空下追尋那些虛無之鳥的蹤跡。


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